The plan is moving forward and it’s not easy.

My wife came home Friday with 6 full cases of wine. Yeah 72 bottles of wine. I carried them from the garage to the basement and put every bottle in the bar. I took the beer I had sitting in the fridge and dumped it. To be honest, I actually threw them in the recycle bin – knowing I could dumpster dive if need be.

Saturday night and the kids are staying at Grandma’s – in the past- it’s going to be a party. Neighbors were sending pictures of wine. Inviting us over for a bender night emptying 6 plus bottles of Red. My wife pours a glass of white early but she took it easy only having a few glasses.

We had a nice night. She was busy working but the time we did spend together was good.

We stayed home Saturday night and I started reading Traction – again. Maybe this is what my business needs. We have looked into traction in the past and implemented pieces but never as a whole. We need something to change and I’m out of ideas so I’m going to run with it. It’s Sunday afternoon and I’ve been reading all morning – this blog is my break.

I worked out yesterday – Body Beast Day 1 and 30 minutes on the Peloton. I’ll do it again today. I’ve decided to start every weekday with a workout. I’ll be going in to the office late so I can take care of my body first. It would be nice to have a six pack – not drink a 6 pack every single day.

I am still sober and I have not had a drink of alcohol!!!

I’m technically sober for a few hours – and very hung. I’m crabby and really just in a shit mood.

Yesterday was not a good day – It was my Birthday. My daughter wished for my Birthday that I would drink less beer. Got in a fight with the wife – No one sang Happy Birthday – no Banana Cream Pie – Yeah it’s time for a change.

Thinking about the company – a company should be a machine. The machine should produce what you expect. If the machine is supposed to make snickers – then you should get a freaking snickers – not a kit kat. If the machine makes kit kats you get a new machine.

My machine is not producing what I expect. I have delegated way to much and I really don’t even know how the machine works anymore. So many systems and processes have been but into place. I trusted my team to build the machine and make freaking snickers. Right now I’m getting busted up peanuts.

I can’t buy a new machine until I figure out how this one is working – Or do I just start over.

Wow I’m hung – normally it would be a hair of the dog kind of day – but not today.

I had a 3 beer lunch. I was by myself.

My business scorecard that use to make financial decisions is 100% inaccurate. Yeah the numbers my team has been posting do not match QBO. So every decision I have made YTD was wrong because I had bad numbers.

My CS manager just typed in bold that we absolutely received credit for defective product. I look into it and we absolutely did not. Why would they be so confident the company was protected that we received money owed to us. Then when I double check her work – we never received the money. How can I trust that the work required is being done. How can I trust my team? I have been finding mistakes likes this every single week.

I’m heading to a happy hour for a free beer in about an hour. Then dinner with a few more drinks and a nice Cabernet before bed.

I’ll hang with the family and the kids tonight – I always do. My family is best thing going right now. My wife is amazing and my kids are ridiculous. Cute, entertaining, brilliant and so many unique talents. This will be last time I’m buzzy.

So it begins - 365 days to get my shit straight.  
Tomorrow I'll be sober.  

My company needs help. Cash Flow is a disaster. The dept I have been consuming is mind blowing. My wife would freak if she actually knew how much money I owe on credit cards – past due invoices and loans. My management team is not meeting expectations. Sales are not growing and every day we are digging a bigger hole. Some days I just want to run and escape the madness but this is my baby. This is my company and this is my responsibility to fix the mistakes that have happened over the past two to three years.

I believe in my vision, I know my team believes and we have customers that count on us – we have a tribe that loves our Brand.

It’s April 24th 2019 – I’m going to drink today. Just like I have for many, many years.

Tomorrow is Day 1… always tomorrow.. I’ve said it before but this time will be different.

If I don’t make these changes I’m worried about dying young and I’m worried about losing my company.

I’m not going to share my name or my company through this blog. My identify will kept secret for the time being.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton