One Year Later… Down but not Out

It’s been almost a year since I started this journey and NO… I have not gone one year with No Beer. Most weeks I found myself drinking every day and some days it was way to early and way to late.

I still believe in myself and I know I can change.

Today is day two. Today I tell myself ” I DON’T DRINK “

I woke up this morning and did a quick work out. I’m going to run after work and I’m going to hang out with my family. I going to do it all without a beer in hand…. It’s going to be a good day.

It’s taken a long time to accept the reality that drinking does not help and it only makes things worse. Covid 2020 has not helped the situation but I’m stronger than that. I believe in myself.

The real change begins

It’s one thing to just quit drinking – It’s another to transform your life.

This morning I woke up at 4:45am. Refreshed and feeling good from not drinking. I sat down to drink my coffee and play a silly game on my phone. I did this for the next 15 minutes when it just hit – What the Fuck are you doing. Why are you wasting your brain and your potential to do something great.

I spend the next 45 minutes drinking my coffee and reading a book.

I then spend the next 45 minutes exercising.

I finished at 6:45 am – just in time to help the kids get ready for school and get myself ready.

The morning is a golden opportunity to change your mindset and your day. I’m not going to waste it. If I’m going to change my life and my company in 365 days – it’s not going to be from drinking. I’m going to change my life by changing my habits.

The make these changes it must begin before the sun comes up.

Tomorrow I’m going to follow this exact same routine – minus the video games… But I’m going to add a step. I’m going to visualize what needs to be done to win the day…

I will be able to wake up at 5am because I will not have been drinking.

Own the day. Own my Life…

Two Weeks…..

Wow this was a challenging weekend. I’m proud of myself for not drinking. It’s Monday morning and I feel pretty good.

I couldn’t get myself to workout this weekend – I was crabby – I was craving a drink and my typically household duties or role was changed. I need to be a Nurse this weekend for my wife who had surgery on Friday. Which is great, I love an opportunity to take care of my wife – she’s a wonderful and amazing lady. However my wife is an awful patient and does not like needed help. She is a strong women and likes things done her way. It was not an easy weekend…

I had fun with the kids – I did not drink. I also did not workout and decided to eat my cravings away. I took on a few extra thousand calories this weekend. Drink or Eat… I made the right choice but now I need to get those workouts in.

7 more day.. 7 more days.. I really believe that 21 day mark will make things easier…

Going to be a Challenge

I’m not feeling normal today. My body and my head are not foggy but it’s almost like I’m on a cloud. My stomach is also just not right. Plus my body aches from the workouts – which is good but wow I must be outta shape.

It’s only 9am and I’m thinking about drinking today. It’s been 10 days since I had a drink. I really believe 21 is that magic number. I simply need to go 11 more days and I will give myself an opportunity to break this curse.

I’m calling it a curse – some call it a disease others say it’s just having a good time. I know I’m going to drink again but I want it to be on my terms. I never want to drink on a daily basis again. I want it to be just have a good time. The way I have or had been drinking it’s not a good time – It’s an early grave. It’s a habit that if not broken means I don’t get to know my future grandkids.

That’s reason enough to go 11 more days.

9 days No Beer

I’m doing really good. I wake up feeling refreshed and my head is clear. The first 15 days of my sober October bombed. I shouldn’t say it was awful but I had a few rough days. I can blame the days I was drinking on stress but that’s an excuse and I hate excuses.

October 14th was the last day I drank and it was ugly. I had a really bad day and spent an evening being a loser sitting in a bar, drinking way past the point of being able to drive home. My wife was pissed – I was pissed and drinking didn’t solve my problem. I was still stressed. The only thing drinking did was make the next few days really hard.

I had trouble thinking straight I was so hungover. How can you be successful if you can’t think straight. The last nine days have been really encouraging. I can do this. I don’t need to drink. I can find healthier options to relieve stress. I have been sleeping really good with NO booze.

I’m looking forward to continued success in my road to being a better me.

Day 3

I stayed at the office until after 5 and went straight home. I thought about stopping for a drink – It’s my blog I’m going to be honest. I came home and was thinking about drinking. Instead I worked out and after that I played a game with my daughter. It was nice. Then we played a game as a family.

I’m actually sore for my workout yesterday.

Today is an Anniversary – Today I’m not going to drink in honor of a great man. I’m not going to drink because I liked that workout and it was nice to spend quality time with my daughter and son without a buzz… And really do I even get buzzed or just drink until I go to sleep. To hang out with the family and not have a beer in one hand.

These are my reasons not to drink today – Funny it’s almost 3 pm – the hour when I start thinking about having the first one – Not Today..

Day 2

I just looked back at several posts where I tried to stop drinking and each time I started drinking. It’s been 6 months since this process started – since I started to think about no beer. What would life be like sober? It’s day 2 of not drinking again and it’s 3:30 pm and I’m thinking about a beer. I’m thinking about leaving early to put two or three down before heading home to be with my family.

I just dealt with Gout & wow that hurts. Why did I get the gout – from drinking and not taking care of my buddy. I’ve spent most days in a cloud. I’m too old and to young to be this stupid. I need to cleanse my body.

This is my reason not to drink today. Maybe writing each day is going to help.

Almost two Months

Of drinking – I’m not impressed with myself.

Of not working out. I’m getting soft and losing muscle..

This is not and was not the plan. The plan was to dry out. The plan was to get sober.

Now I’m heading into the heart of the summer months – where everything seems to revolve around drinking. Parties – the 4th of July – vacations….

Yes, I’m really stressed about work and cash flow is making every decision difficult.

Today – I’m going to do my best. Maybe this is not something that can be accomplished in 365 days. I will need to take back control of my choices and this is something that will need to be accomplished – one day at a time. Every day I’m going to need to commit and start over. Every day I will need to make the right choice. Drink your water – Drink your tee… No beer.

Today is one day at a time. Today I will not drink.

And we start over

Yesterday was one of those days. I was doing good but I wasn’t. I drank and I drank pretty heavy. Two very large beers and a bottle of Red.

Why – I convinced myself I was honoring someone by drinking. It was one of those days that meant something and will always be a sad day – the anniversary of someone pacing away. That person loved his drinks – drinking put him in an early grave.

It’s so easy to find an excuse to drink – Why is it so hard to find an excuse not to drink? Why is not drinking so hard. I was only able to go 7 days before I hit a wall.

To go 365 days I’m going to need something different. I’m reading a book and implementing the EOS program or Traction hoping this makes a difference with my company. Maybe I should do something similar for drinking. I’m not the kind of guy that can just have one beer or one glass a wine. It turns into so much more. I need to try again. This blog seems to help – I should have written my thoughts yesterday – maybe that would have kept me out of the bar. This next time I’m craving the bottle – I’m going to write.

I’m a mess

I need to poop. I haven’t pooped in almost 3 days and I’m not sleeping.

I miss my MD’s.

What is an MD you may ask. A MD is what you would call a really good poop. Why is it called a MD – it’s a nickname for the greatest poop of all time. The world famous Doogie Howser M.D. — Yes I call a good poop a good MD – I miss Doogie. Maybe today.

I’m not sleeping – I’m exhausted but I just lay in bed and can’t get my brain to shut off. That’s one of the reason I would drink. They say you sleep better when sober and wake up refreshed. I’m not waking up refreshed but I’m sticking with it. Eventually my body will need to sleep – I miss my sleep and yes I miss pooping.

I have my two main guys in the office reading Traction – they have until Monday to finish the book. I can’t implement a new way on my own – I’ll need their help.

This is day 6 of not drinking. If I was sleeping it would be easier but nothing’s easy anymore. I just need to get through this phase.